I can’t wait to be around people who don’t make me want to drink or do shrugs
Or stay alone is good, too
I just don’t even understand how they ended up that way. If any of you know people like that or if you used to be like that, or if ur a therapist or parent or teacher, can u please explain to me how u/they outgrew that or how u get someone out of whatever the fuck my ex is on
He’s not the first person to talk to me like this and just blocking them isn’t the answer I’m looking for. They keep going and doing this and I don’t want them to just act like to other people after me. I just want to know how people are supposed to talk to them and what to say. My parents didn’t talk to me growing up so there’s a lot I don’t know. I just don’t know how to unpack this . I don’t want a world full of people like this. Even if it’s information that has to come from an older white person. They would yell at me about this stuff but if it were an older white man, I don’t think they would talk to them with the same animosity. I don’t really know what to do. Some people see me and that’s just the energy they grab onto for whatever stupid reason out of my control. If I’ve been aggressive, short or guarded with you, I hope u understand it’s cuz I’ve had some things going on elsewhere or from my experience.
… I just don’t know how anyone could look at my IG page and think ‘state funded corporate propaganda parrot’.
I wanna be alone. Idk wtf is going on but men lose their minds when they have me and I don’t want it anymore.
Thanks for the last livestream. Def one of my best ones this month. 💙
If anyone’s archiving all my IG posts and remaining highlights (I’ve reached limit they started disappearing years ago) , I super appreciate it. I know igs are getting bannedd left and right. I’ll be ur bestie forever if u play historian for me and have a proper record that I existed. This is like my 6th or 7th IG.
#cindymoon
Charging phone some during shower and coming back on. 🥰♥️🎄♥️ onlyfans hides the real number of viewers so I’m sharing the summary. Playing a onlyfans model for research purposes. 🔍🕵️Check the time duration and viewers between picture 2 and 3. 🤔
If everyone tipped $5 I would have made my goals. Give me a merry Christmas the next time I go on, okay? Don’t be a Scrooge. 😉🎄🎅❄️🎁
(I donate to refugees and help single mommies and that means u do, too. 😉🎁♥️)
#cindymoon #christmas #onlyfans
The audacity to say he cares more than I do was one of the craziest things he ever said to me.
This bitch doesn’t even help me walk the dog. He’s done it twice in 4 years. No dates. No birthdays. No anniversaries. No help. No holidays. No vacations. No lunch in new restaurants or even breakfast in bed. ???? Going live. What the actual fuck is going on.
Everyone knows mainstream media has been biased and there are more honest groups and people on social media reporting honestly. I can’t get through to him and I don’t want people like him to exist anymore. I can’t get through to him. I used to feel bad cuz his dad is a deadbeat but I don’t have the energy or image to love or educate him out of whatever reality he’s in. It needs to be another whxte man.
I don’t know what he wants from me. You want to be a black man?? What’s going on here??? You’d rather be a brown or black man??? Being a 6’6 white man isn’t good enough for you? You think it’s easier and better to be black??? Wtf do you want from me? Complaining about being a tall white man to a female person of color for a pity party is just stupid. Just shut the fuck up already.
So stupid.
Going live.
If you live in South #Florida would you rather drive your own car to #Orlando or take the new Brightline train?
If I drive on my own I can bring a suitcase or two and I’ll have my own transportation but I won’t be able to answer messages and I’ll have to pay for parking and risk getting into an accident
If I take the train it’ll be faster but I’ll likely be limited to 1 suitcase and will need to Uber around but I’ll save money on parking and is less likely to have an incident since it’s on a track.
The last time I went and stayed at a hotel they charged 40 a night for parking so I’m asking people with more travel experience which they would rather do.
99 each way on train means about $200 for round trip
Flights are out of question rn
I am going through the craziest shit right now and I don’t understand why he’s doing this when it would only benefit us both if he would just help out or bring me peace. I can’t even breathe. I can’t even focus or relax. I want to focus on work but he’s making it completely impossible. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.
He called me anti-semxtic for protesting against gxnocide last night along with calling me a heartless sociopath that only cares about myself.
(There are lots of wonderful Jews also protesting against gxnocide. ) I definitely don’t even care enough about myself and should. It’s like he has no interest in knowing or accepting me and idk what tf is going on. I care too much about other people’s welfare and he’s saying I don’t.
…
He says he cares more than I do.
…
and that I’m just this parrot that wants to be popular (as if this is the easiest most popular thing for me to do???) , that I’m just regurgitating false information about Gaza from influencers who are liars (bro, wtf) (this is literally the unsexiest most unprofitable, unpopular, unorthodox, most unprofessional and most caring thing I could possibly do as a sex worker. I’m sharing and boosting actual people from Gaza and credible journalism sources. I don’t know how you could say something like this to me. I share and comment on articles and I have a fundraiser for the refugees on my IG and he’s calling me a heartless sociopath. ) I’m the ceo of a refugee journalism site and I’m somehow useless and heartless???
He keeps saying that I don’t actually care about people…. When I seriously feel like I am doing the absolute most that I can while he’s busy on all these dating sites and antagonizing me and all of his other exes. I just couldn’t take it anymore. The constant gas lighting and villainizing me when I ask for help is just astronomical. For no one’s benefit. He is never my peace, I can’t rely on him and he won’t do anything to help me make A team money even though I’ve helped him countless times.
I don’t know what’s wrong with him but he chooses to put the worst stuff in my ear and I just don’t want anything to do with him anymore.
I also put on a chxldren’s Christmas movie on last night called Scrooge and there was a 20-30 second scene where there was a black guy playing one of the poor people and he got SO UPSET at seeing A CARTOON BLXCK PERSON. He accused me of putting on a rxcist movie just to make him feel bad.??????????? (Can my white friends watch this same movie and let me know if it’s reasonable to get this upset over watching #Scrooge on #netflix ? I’m serious.) putting on Scrooge= I hxte whxte people???? What????????? I love white people.
He went on a tirade on how hard it is to be a Whxte man (omfg 🙄) and I just got so fucking sick and tired of his shit. He said That all I want to do is make whxte people feel bad and that’s why I put on Scrooge. I told him it’s not a good look and that no one’s going to cry for him complaining about how hard it is to be a whxte man. He keeps getting let go at jobs and he wants to blame it on him being whxte. It’s Fcking ridiculous.
He then said I secretly hxte white people and I was just flabbergasted at his gaslighting. Because I had cartoon SCROOGE on Netflix. It’s a fuckkng kidz CARTOON movie. There are poor blxck and whxte people all over the world. He said all I ever want to do is make whxte people the villains and make them feel bad. ITS SCROOGE. It’s a classic Christmas movie. He was mean to ALL PEOPLE DESPITE THEIR SKIN COLOR. There are poor people of ALL SKIN COLORS. He’s spending so much time doing everything but making my life easier and I can’t for the life of me understand why. I feel like I can’t even breathe. He’s holding my content hostage from OCTOBER and says I have shit content even though he’s the one who won’t make me feel pretty and won’t take any photos of me. I have no idea what the fuck is wrong with him or what is going on but I’m just so scared of even letting him have one more minute of me.
He’s saying I hxte whxte people because I put Netflix’s cartoon movie Scrooge on tv. How do you get that from Christmas movie Scrooge????? How can you say that to someone you supposably care about? How am I the bad guy rxcist for trying to watch a Christmas cartoon movie??? I’m so Fcking lost and feel so helpless. It’s like this almost every day. I’m being evil and rxcist for watching Scrooge???? What???????????
I had to let all that out. He keeps ignoring my needs but expects me to still be here for him. I’ve given him enough and he’d rather lose me than help me and im ready to accept that.
I’m mellowing out. Someone gave me a $100 tip today so I am okay and I will be fine.
He gets angry at me for sharing but he won’t stop abxsing me in private and I don’t want to protect, help or love him anymore. I would have given him a family, a house, the whole world but he won’t even take me on a movie date or let me watch a cartoon Christmas movie in peace. I can’t get through to him. I don’t know what to do.
You’re the one that made sure this relationship failed and I hope you find someone you will actually love one day.
Just thinking about you makes me sick. Wtf are you doing, dude.
I know it’s not normal or sexy to share so much of my life and yea here but I just feel so desperate to be seen and comforted right now. He won’t listen to me at all and I don’t even know what to do except cut him off. I feel like I owe it to some of you to show what I’m going through and if I ever let someone take me out on a date, i wanted to show you how NOT to talk to me. I’m sorry for those who aren’t used to people being so personal here but I really needed to express myself and what’s really going on in my life.
I wish I could love the hate out of people who have been taking in red pill cry baby borderline hateful content from the internet. But they don’t see me. They won’t listen to me. It just makes me more and more radical.
I just want a world where everyone is loving. It’s hard on me that I can’t even make a difference with 1 person in my own home.
Having no job and no time to help me with onlyfans but time to be on a bunch of dating sites and apps and sleep with other people is crazy to me. I’m not dealing with this crazy shit anymore. 😂 Have her take care of you. You’re just gonna stress her out so bad she drops out of med school, so I feel bad for her. Thanks for sleeping with her on my birthday. Why would I ever give you another chance after that? You can go get hxt by a cxr for all I care. 🙂
Any of my fans going to Holiday Matsuri in Orlando? I might go by myself. I’d love to be silent bob or mommy in any friend groups. I’m a recluse and would love to tag along in watching cosplay shows and sit in panels.
#orlando #florida #holidaymatsuri
Stream started at 12/21/2023 02:35 am
Happy holidays! How r u all doing
Hanging out in black #CalvinKlein undies before I hope into the shower for a refreshing drain! Fully exposed #tits and close up of my #pussy included. 🫦
Does anyone know a good mobile app for pixelating/censoring?
Also, new writing! Still welcoming any writers who want to brainstorm any and all fun ideas inspired by my #writing. ✍️
#cindymoon #scifi #fantasy
If any of you are bigger than my ex lover, and would love to help me out by playing part time boyfriend, please let me know. I want to detach as soon as possible. I want to be bright, positive, playful and smiling.
I only want guys who give me princess treatment from now on. I don’t understand why you would give me the worst time of my life after how much I’ve sacrificed to be with you and you don’t even give me birthdays or anniversaries. I feel so stupid for trying to love him. Fucking loser.
